What I was thinking when I saw Nick again.

It would be months before I saw Daisy's cousin, Nick Carraway, again. I never thought Nick, a man who with privilege, a great education, an ambition to succeed could fall into a steep depression. When I offered my hand, he arms remained frozen to his body while his eyes seemed to go through me. For a moment I felt sorry for him; unfortunately, when he told me how this all happened, my piety ceased. Gatsby's death had greatly affected him. I couldn't understand how Gatsby, above all men, had affected him so terribly. Nick as just as well as I did that Gatsby could never be more than a repulsive, meager, unscrupulous bootleggers. I told him not to feel piety for Gatsby's loss, but rather to rejoice that he has departed from our lives. Astonishingly, he didn't seem to agree. 'What had Gatsby done', I wondered 'that tampered with Nick's ability to judge a well rounded character'.Nick spent a great amount of time with Gatsby, and he couldn't see the man that many people have now came to know. from that moment on Nick and I became strangers to one another. I walked home that evening asking myself over and over the same question: If we would had stayed behind could Daisy had changed to Nick's unruly character? After a while I felt proud that we abandoned our old life in the east, for if we had stayed then wouldn't had been able to move on with our lives.         

Why I left my home in East Egg

The news of Gatsby's death was of little concern to me. My main concern was how his death impacted Daisy. I could have gloated how I was correct on Gatsby's character, but this time I remained silent. Daisy could not hide her feelings from me this time. Gatsby has always had a special place in her heart, and all she could live by now was his memory. I had to take Daisy away from this atmosphere. There were too many memories of Gatsby for Daisy to go on with her life. With his house right across the bay, Gatsby didn't seem that far from Daisy. We moved back to the Midwest so Daisy could get on with her life. She needed to be surrounded with familiar faces she met before Gatsby that could bring her happiness instead of despair. Sadly, that was not the only reasoned we moved away. The uncertainty that someone else knew what happened put my family at stake. If someone knew Daisy had accidentally killed Myrtle, then she would be under more pressure than she is now. Our reputation and good name would fall just like Gatsby did. I did not want this on my family. So, a few days latter, we packed our bags and left East Egg for good.       

Why I had a dispute with Jay Gatsby

My plan for winning my wife back went perfectly well. I intended to win her back whatever meant necessary. The key was Gatsby's exposure. Unmasking Gatsby would not only destroy the man my wife loved, but also himself. I never could had allowed my wife to fall into the claws of a repulsive liar. His vast wealth may had been equal with mine, but our lives were completely different. Daisy, Jordan, Nick, and I were all born differently then Gatsby. Gatsby was born with lack of self respect to who we were and he he was. Gatsby's parties, house, and his fancy clothes was his arrogance toward us. Gatsby's life didn't exist neither did his friends, past, present, and future. Gatsby was living in a lie. But one thing was true: He wanted my wife's heart and I could not allow that to happen to Daisy. Daisy would soon run away into a life that was filled with lies, dishonesty, and despair. I could not stand by and let Daisy destroy herself, she needed to realize who Gatsby was. Gatsby could never cared more for Daisy then I did.

What I was feeling when I heard Myrtle was moving west.

Everything seemed to be going all at once. I had begun to feel that I was a failure. That same day, as I tried to steal my wife back, I made a short pit-stop at Wilson's gas station. The owner's wife, Myrtle Wilson, has been one of my many faithful mistresses. As her husband came to fill the tank of the car, he gave his new he and Myrtle were moving out west. I don't know why I let this affected me, I confessed my love for Daisy and I was trying to win her back. For some peculiar reason I felt that I had failed again. Myrtle played a significant role in my life. Whenever I would leave for the city, she would be the woman who I would call upon to bring excitement in my life. Myrtle and I enjoyed each other's hospitality whenever we saw each other. Myrtle took my stress off a lot of things, and now I feel as all this stress is coming back to me all at once. First my wife has been stolen from me, and now Myrtle is going to leave against her will. This was all just too much for one man to handle. I began to lose everything that was important to me. I felt there was no chance to get Myrtle back, she would have to go with her husband. From that point on, I promised myself to reconcile with Daisy and she if she would be able to fill this empty void that I started to feel inside. This was the failure's pain.   

What I was feeling when I discovered my wife's affair

I never understood how it could happened to me. That a man born into my position could nearly come to lose everything he ever desired. That a man born with such privilege and honor could bear such great sorrow. It was my biggest fear. Not to lose everything, but to be a failure. Had I failed Daisy? Why was she turning her affection to a fraud such as Gatsby. I know that ever since the beginning of our marriage I had been unfaithful, but I always returned in the end. Daisy has been the structure of my success, the carrier of my good name, and a faithful servant to my every decree. I could not afford to lose her. It brought me stress to see her and Gatsby staring romantically into each others' eyes. I was never more humiliated to see my own wife in my own home continuing her romantic affair with a scoundrel. I love Daisy, honest and for truly,  I do. It had been my ambition to make her happy. Had I not given Daisy the best of everything? Were the string of pearls not enough? Our home? Her clothes? Our daughter? Our life together? What had I failed to do? I would not risk being a failure to her or myself any longer. Daisy is my source of ambition, and as long as I have her, I would never be a failure. 

What I was thinking when I first met Jay Gatsby

I

Throughout all my years of success and hard work, I never had enough time to lounge around thinking about my humble past. I had to push some of my memories aside in order to become as successful as I am today. Unfortunately, their is one memory so terrible it has haunted me even to this very day: The day I met Jay Gatsby. It was one summer many years ago I stopped for a drink at his House. Gatsby's mansion was right across the bay from mine. Gatsby's "nouveau riche" status separated us from living on the same side of the island. "Nouveau riche" was all I needed to hear about Gatsby, because weeks later when I saw him that day he was just as what I expected him to be: Dressed in colorful, expensive clothes in order to look like a gentlemen, but underneath his lush exterior hid his malice, secretive background from whence he came; He talked with authority and power, but his social grace and manners were not as superlative as me. He was only trying to hide his shameful heritage to be apart of a society where could had underhandedly destroyed us all. That same week my wife and I attended one of his luxurious parties. I was reluctant to go, but my wife was determined to have me go. As I roamed around the party grounds, I encountered more people just like Gatsby. All who were from "nouveau riche" families, talked, dressed, and behaved in a similar manner. The atmosphere could not have been more disturbing, for I, Thomas Buchanan, wondered how could I allow myself  to be surrounded by filthy bootleggers. Gatsby was no different from the rest of them. I was distant from Gatsby from the remainder of that night. I walked around thinking who is this man and could it be possible that he was trying to get closer to me to obtain something that I had.